Ratty Personality Types
by Zoe O'Brien
Everyone knows these two classifications :
- Type A : Agressive, competative, ambitious.
- Type B : Easy going, laid back, mellow.
But I thought they didn't have enough scope for imagination. So here are the new Ratty personality types.
In the winners circle we have...
- A positive : You go get 'em tiger 'cos your the best there is!
- A negative : You'd better do well or else no one will really love you.
- A + : Teacher's pet! Teacher's pet! Nyah nyah!
- A - : You almost were perfect, just keep trying, keep trying, never mind that ulcer...
- AA : An incident which involves the Auto Association lands you in Al Anon. You're An Ass. Hard drinking, hard driving, hard to get through your thick skull.
- AAA : Your body is in such peak physical condition that this would be the meat grade for your slaughtered carcass.
- A-24 : Your drive for perfection has done some serious damage to your figure, girl. Eat another ricecake.
- A Bomb : Apparently you have some kind of anger issue.
- ACDC : You've worked yourself so hard you've ended up in an institution. Fire up the electrodes!
- ADD : Your energy and drive have been attributed to Attention Deficit Disorder. Whoo! Hey, what? Say that again?
- @ : Agressive? Moi? Let's burn everthing down to ashes! Smash the state! Mwa hah hah!
- A-Team : What you lookin' at suckah? I pity dah fool!
- A-lpha : You're the top dog, the leader of the pack. All bow and hail. (See A-dolf).
Then on the softer side...
- B positive : Take it easy, everything is just going to all right. Dude.
- B negative : Well, why even bother with anything? It's just going to screw up anyway.
- B + : Hey, you tried hard enough. Why overdo it, eh?
- B - : Just a little disappointing but who's keeping score?
- B1 : With it all. Now and zen.
- B-52 : Why go to work when you can cruise down the highway of life to the Love Shack! Pour me another drink, baby!
- B Bop : You are one cool cat, just so mellow. Wow. Life's a jazz festival, man.
- B Hive : No better, no worse, another mindless drone, have a nice day.
- B Happy : Hey, whatever happened to Bobby McFerrin?
- B Free : Just let it all hang loose, shake off those conventional trappings...I can fly!
- B Square : Staying the same, nice and tame, never change, don't rearrange.
- BO : The most laid back part of you is your sense of hygeine. Phew!
- B Cuz : I dunno. Just cuz. Burp.
- B Good : I remember this is what ET told Drew Barrymore. Or was that the Johhny guy with the guitar?
- B Mused : Oh, tisn't life grand? Pour me another sherry, I'm simply fainting away! Such is life.
And in the centre...
- AB : You keep a pretty even keel, a happy medium, a cheery psychic. You bring a balance to the Force. Yin-yang, ping-pong.
- ABBA : Perfect balance. Which is pretty hard to do on Swedish stacked-heel boots. SOS!
- BABA : Hey, you're a grandma. No one will notice if you're confused and everything's backwards...except maybe your teeth.